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I'll fight like hell to hide that I've given up. [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | Tad @ Myspace.com ]
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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Like whoa [14 Oct 2007|09:59am]
So I haven't updated in a long time, but I have been logging in and I'm glad to see you're all doing well for the most part.

Despite a lot of demands, I'm loving my job. I get to meet new people other day and help them plan for whatever is most important to them. Plus there is so much about finances that I never new! I'm amazed by all that I've learned so far, and I love the feeling of knowing how to help someone who has a financial concern. The hours are long though; I've been working a little more than 60 hours a week, and with my spare time has become very precious too me.

I've dated a bit... there are a lot of girls in Seattle believe it or not. I've only dated one for more than a couple dates, and we basically just ended it. She was upset that I didn't take the time to make her feel special (because I didn't have the time) and also because I called her dude (haha seriously). Last night though I went on a date with a girl that totally blew me away. She is almost as busy as I am though, so we will see how it works out... my hopes aren't very high to be honest.

Thursday I went to see Jimmy Eat World at the Showbox. Basically amazing. I'm hoping I will be there again for Rocky Votolato on November 1st.

I hope you're all doing well.
* if you think it, type it*

Ugh [22 Jul 2007|12:59am]
I worked a 14 hour shift at the bar today and the bones in my legs are sore.
* 1 | if you think it, type it*

PHATNESS! [15 Jun 2007|05:30pm]
Guess who just got a full time job bartending for the summer?
* 2 | if you think it, type it*

Most amazing day of my life [08 May 2007|05:56pm]
[ mood | good ]

Guess who hit a home run today in intramural softball? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT WAS ME!

I ran seven miles too, in a cut-off t-shirt, in the most amazing weather of all time. Skin cancer is coming, but damn it feels good now.

Two people said I was looking good today. Turns out I've lost 12 pounds this quarter!

I also ran all over town trying to do a favor for this one girl I like. I had to find a copy of Manhattan. None of the video stores had it, freddies didn't have it, I finally found a friend of a friend with a copy. I made her a CD for her upcoming road trip too. When I gave all the stuff to her she gave me the most beautiful smile I have ever been struck with.

BUT THE BIG NEWS.... I got a call from Ameriprise Financial today and my HUGE interview is scheduled for Thursday with the Field Vice-President of the Seattle branch! This is a fortune 250 company, rated as one of the top 20 places to launch a career in money magazine. This is the last stage of the five stage interview process. THIS IS MY FREAKIN DREAM JOB!

It is so beautiful outside today.

* 9 | if you think it, type it*

AHHHHH [01 May 2007|12:00pm]

* 3 | if you think it, type it*

The Break-Up [25 Apr 2007|04:11am]
[ mood | Offish ]

So I watched this horribly depressing movie today titled The Break-Up.

I don't think I want to publish to the internet accessing world why it got to me, but perhaps if we chat soon you can bring it up, and if feeling open, introspective, or even just chatty we can talk all bout it.

I also went with a friend on her 21st birthday and danced with one of the prettiest girls I have ever met.

* 2 | if you think it, type it*

Fucking A [23 Apr 2007|10:30am]
[ mood | Fine ]

So I have two job interviews this week. I'm not even sure if I want the damn jobs though. God this real life shit blows.

So I'm moving to Seattle in June. I have some friends over there already; I'm pretty excited. I'm thinking that I might start trying to date again when I get there. But I don't know if my "I'm not dating because I'm moving away soon" excuse is legitimate or just an excuse. I think I might just like to not try to date ever again. I might just pass on dealing with the damn dating games of which I have zero comprehension. Chasing girls always leaves me feeling horribly imcompetent.

I did go on a lovely "date" with this girl I have thought was wonderful all year. I just made her dinner and we went to the Tav and hung out for a few hours. I don't know if it was a date though, or if we were just being friends. I like her a lot so I'm not going to push it.

I have this senior thesis thing that is totally brutal. I feel guilty whenever I have a spare minute and I'm not doing research. It is a complete nightmare.

Sometimes, I wish I ran my department. But I think that if I did, I would wish I was the president of the university. All I know is someone on the chain of command, farther up then I can even see, is a dumb ass.

EDIT: I think four or five different people gave me a compliment on my shirt when I went out Friday night. I have had that shirt for like two months. BUT, I was wearing a new hat. The new hat MUST make the shirt look better.

* if you think it, type it*

Salt [15 Apr 2007|03:20pm]
[ mood | impressed ]

So I ran 10 miles again today. Whenever I run more than 7 miles or so this crazy thing happens. I either sweat so much, or the sweat is on my face so long, that when I go back inside and look in the mirror, I have deposits of salt all over my face.

There's salt in my eyebrows, my whiskers, my cheeks, and even on ths tips of me eyelashes. It's freakin crazy, but cool. I tried to take a picture but my camera blows. Today was by far the saltiest day ever.

* 2 | if you think it, type it*

Kurt Vonnegut [12 Apr 2007|01:37am]
[ mood | sad ]

"Live by the foma* that make you brave and kind and happy and healthy."

*Harmless untruths

No fiction writer has had such a profound and delightful influence on my personal philosophy as Kurt Vonnegut. I'm incredibly thankful to have had his works in my life.

I'm sure his death was peaceful. He had many controlled near death experiences during his life and thus his experience with the afterlife far exceeds that of the average person.

I have never felt such a sadness as the death of an absolute stranger. I read his books again and again though, and I loved him, so perhaps he wasn't such a stranger.

Thank you Kurt Vonnegut. In my eyes you are the greatest American author ever to set pen to paper.

"There is enough love in this world for everybody, if people will just look."

* if you think it, type it*

Routine [09 Apr 2007|11:26pm]
[ mood | blank ]

So yesterday I ate pizza and today I had ice cream and a cheeseburger. So I'm feeling a little naughty. Over all I have lost three pounds this quarter though, and I'm pleased with that. I just need to stay focused and keep working on it.

I have had a really steady routine this quarter. First class at 11 AM. Run at noon. PE class at 1 PM. Run at 2PM. Eat lunch. Ethics and Film (Monday & Wednesday only). Hike. Shower. Dinner. Study at D & M. Sleep. Repeat.

It seems like I only have two academic classes, which is sort of true, but that's because I'm writing my thesis this quarter and doing more reading than ever before in my life.

I don't hike on Wednesdays though because I have a work related meeting in the evenings.

This schedule is really good for me. I am getting a lot of studying done and taking great care of myself physically. But I don't really hang out with anyone unless they're coming hiking with me. That was OK, but it kind of caught up to me today. It was just one of those days where I saw happy couples everywhere and felt completely unattractive all day, even though I was wearing a super sharp new shirt.

I think I just need to get over this rough spot and stick with the routine. If I can adjust it will be great for me. Productivity and independence could ultimately do great things for me.

* 5 | if you think it, type it*

tired [01 Apr 2007|02:46am]
[ mood | tired ]

Today was great. The hike was wonderful, a friend had me over to her house and her mom made a bomb dinner. I took a tight little nap. I woke up and hit the bars and danced with some cute girls.

But now I'm sad because after the bars a friend basically passed out. Like completely unresponsive. I'm in the waiting room at the hospital now... Luckily I wasn't drinking, so I could drive. They think someone slipped her something. No fun at all :(

I'm glad I cut back on the drinking last month.

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Uptanum Falls [31 Mar 2007|07:39pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I have hiked four days since Tuesday! I just can't get enough.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Today was the first cloudy day all week.
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Softball [29 Mar 2007|04:55pm]
[ mood | angry ]

I can't stand my softball class. I hate to be an ass, but sometimes I am. When a girl giggles for five minutes after a strike when she is at the plate, I turn into an asshole. Striking out isn't funny, especially in softball. It is disgusting.

I am admittedly a little too competitive when it comes to team sports. I get fired up and it is basically the only time EVER when I might accidentally get angry and yell at someone.

I want to play serious softball, not goof off for 45 minutes. The worst is when the most annoying and giggliest girl insists on playing short-stop and fucking up every single play. She was a terrible cut-off, she missed almost every ground ball, and she can't fucking throw.

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Girlz [28 Mar 2007|02:35pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I want to marry a girl who overuses her beautiful smile, takes lots of pictures of us together, and makes me eat my vegetables.

* 14 | if you think it, type it*

Spring Quarter [28 Mar 2007|12:51am]
[ mood | blank ]

I went to Hawaii and now I'm back.

Everyone in my family says I used to be nicer. I don't ever remember being nice though. My mother says I need to get therapy, but it doesn't really phase me because she thinks everyone needs therapy. My step-dad says I should quit my job. My sister says I should find a nice girl.

My twin sister is now engaged.

I'm excited about this quarter; I have big plans. I'm already way ahead on my studies. Today I ran six miles, hiked for two hours, ate healthy, and even picked up some fashion accessories for a new style I'm working on. It's nice to improve myself.

* 3 | if you think it, type it*

Gone [16 Mar 2007|05:21pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I'm going to be out of town and probably won't be on LJ for a weekish. I might check myspace though, if my phone has reception.

Everyone says, "you're going to have so much fun and meet a ton of girls!"


I just wanted to record my skepticism in advance.

* 3 | if you think it, type it*

OW [16 Mar 2007|01:05am]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

So I have this cold, and my sinuses are really fucked up, and this pain just shot through the whole left side of my face. It seemed to center around my tooth. It was an intense tooth ache. I have never had a tooth ache before. In fact I have never had anything wrong with my teeth before. I'm kind of freaking out.

Is it possible for messed up sinuses to cause this sort of thing? It freakin hurts.

* 2 | if you think it, type it*

Hiking and Diving [11 Mar 2007|04:42pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

I went hiking again today and it was by far the most beautiful day thus far. Plus Alison came along. Too bomb.

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I spoke with someone who graduated the scuba diving school I'm looking at today. She just started six months ago and she's pulling in about $5,000 a month, which is great starting pay. Plus after about two years with a diving company you move up and you're making about 150% of what you make initially. I could live very well on $7,500 a month, especially considering when you're off shore your room and board is taken care of.

However, her hours are a lot crazier than I thought. She is offshore for about two months at a time, and then she gets two weeks off. Two weeks off is great, but two months away and having little contact with my friends would be hard. She said she loves her offshore time though, so maybe it is some fun. Also she's working twelve hour days seven days a week. Yikes. It would be fun to write a lot of letters with friends by hand though.

My main concern: how the heck would I establish any kind of meaningful relationship if I'm gone for two months at a time and on land for only two weeks?
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I'm the shit. [11 Mar 2007|01:12am]
You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!
* 7 | if you think it, type it*

300 [10 Mar 2007|09:02pm]
[ mood | content ]

300 was a very entertaining movie.

So I took this girl and it was our third date; I took her to dinner twice and this was our first movie. My best friend spoke with her a couple weeks back and she said "Tad's great, but I just don't see him that way" (I know; getting info from a friend is sooooo high school, but whatever).

Even though I know she's not interested I still have a good time, and I guess that's all I need from a date at this point.

I just can't muster up a crush for a girl anymore. It seems like a bad idea, and I find myself artificially manufacturing disinterest in any worthwhile girl.

* 8 | if you think it, type it*

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